What to do when a parent dies

In the first hours and days

1. Get a legal pronouncement of death. If your parent was in hospice or a hospital, staff will handle it. If a doctor was attending at home, they can pronounce. If the death was unexpected or unattended, call 911. This official pronouncement is what everything else depends on.
2. Notify close family and a few trusted people. Ask one or two of them to help make calls — you don't have to carry the news alone.
3. Find out if there were wishes or prepaid arrangements. Check for a prepaid funeral or cremation plan, a burial plot, or written instructions before you commit to anything. Many families discover arrangements were already made.
4. Arrange transport of the body. Contact a funeral home or cremation provider; they will bring your parent into their care, often within hours, at any time of day.
5. Care for dependents and pets. Make sure anyone who depended on your parent — a spouse, a grandchild, a pet — is safe and looked after.
6. Secure the home. Lock up, bring in mail, and make sure the house is safe if it will sit empty. An empty home is a target for both burglary and fraud.

Within the first week

• Choose a funeral home or cremation provider and decide between burial, cremation, or another option. You have every right to compare prices — see how much a funeral costs.
• Plan the service or memorial. It can be as simple or as personal as feels right, and it can be scheduled weeks out to give family time to travel.
• Write an obituary if you'd like one, and share service details with friends, faith community, and employers.
• Get certified copies of the death certificate. Order at least 10 — banks, insurers, retirement plans, and title offices each want an original and often keep it. The funeral home can usually order them for you; see how to order more.
• Locate the will and any estate documents. Find the will, trust papers, and any power-of-attorney or advance-directive paperwork. If your parent kept a family records organizer, start there — everything should be listed in one place. An important point many families miss: a financial power of attorney ends at death — it no longer gives anyone authority. From here, the executor named in the will (or a court-appointed administrator) is the person legally authorized to act. See our guides to essential legal documents and power of attorney.
• Request any certified documents you’re missing. Survivor benefits, VA burial, and estate work often need records that turn up missing — a marriage certificate, a veteran’s DD‑214, and more. Our documents hub shows how to request each one from the official Kansas and Missouri sources.

Who to notify when someone dies

There's no rush to make every call at once. Keep a running list and cross names off as you go. Common notifications include:

• Social Security — the funeral home often reports the death, but confirm it was done, and ask about any survivor benefits.
• Medicare and any health insurers — including Medicare Advantage or supplement plans.
• Life insurance companies — to start any claims.
• Banks and financial institutions — checking, savings, brokerage, and retirement accounts.
• Pension plan or former employer — for benefits and any final pay.
• The county and the DMV — voter registration and driver's license.
• USPS — to forward or hold mail.
• The three credit bureaus — Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion — to flag the file as deceased and help prevent identity theft.
• Utilities and subscriptions — power, phone, internet, streaming, and recurring memberships.

Settling the estate

The executor (named in the will) or a court-appointed administrator is responsible for gathering assets, paying valid debts and final taxes, and distributing what remains to the heirs. That may involve probate — the court-supervised process for settling an estate. Whether probate is required, and how it works, depends on how assets were titled and whether beneficiaries were named; accounts and property with named beneficiaries or transfer-on-death designations often pass outside probate entirely.

Probate rules differ between Kansas and Missouri — deadlines, small-estate thresholds, and procedures are not the same. For anything beyond a very simple estate, it's worth consulting a probate or estate attorney, or contacting the probate court in the county where your parent lived. Stay alert to estate and identity fraud, too — scammers watch obituaries. See our guide to protecting against fraud.

Clearing the home

There is no deadline on sorting belongings, and doing it slowly — or with family alongside you — is often kinder. When you're ready, an estate-sale company can handle a full household, and donations give useful items a second life. Our guide to helping a parent downsize a home walks through the process, and gently used medical and mobility equipment can be donated to local loan closets so it helps another family.

Taking care of yourself

Grief is real, and it doesn't follow a schedule. Be patient with yourself, lean on people who love you, and don't try to be strong every minute. Many hospices offer bereavement programs — often free and open to the community, even if your parent wasn't their patient — and local grief-support groups can help you feel less alone. Our Kansas City grief-support resources can point you to help nearby. If you feel persistently hopeless or unsafe, call or text 988 anytime.

A gift you can give: pre-planning your own

If going through this has shown you how hard it can be, consider pre-planning your own arrangements. Writing down your wishes — and, if you choose, prepaying — spares your family from guessing during the hardest days. When you shop, know that the FTC Funeral Rule gives you the right to an itemized price list and to buy only the goods and services you want, so you can compare providers with confidence. Pairing that with the documents in our essential legal documents guide is one of the most loving things you can leave behind.

Common questions when a parent dies

General information for Kansas City families, not legal, tax, or financial advice. Probate and estate rules differ in Kansas and Missouri — consult an attorney or the probate court for your situation.